How can I serve you? - Allen Vaysberg
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How can I serve you?

How can I serve you?

That one simple question “How can I serve you?” can literally change your life.  I am using the word literally very specifically, thus please allow me to explain.  It all started with Neale Donald Walsch last weekend at Celebrate Your Life conference sharing his belief that “your life is not about you…but who you touch and in how you touch them…” 

Whether you agree with that statement and to what extent is beyond this particular post.  What is, on the other hand, is an interesting perspective and a question that occurred to me while thinking through Neale’s speech.  In our lives we most often think from the perspective of “I”.  What’s in it for me?, as crude as it sounds, seems to be at the core of what we do and how we treat others.  We are taught differently and would like to think of ourselves differently however I believe we will agree that for the most part that is true.

That being said, a simple application of the question “How can I serve you?” before you do anything can help you get out of the Ego and into your Heart.  That in turn has a tremendous number of benefits.  For instance:

  • Physical effects
    • Raised vibration leading to all sorts of health benefits as well as clearer guidance
    • Better flow of energy through the body due to releasing of the blocks that we normally put up so as NOT to harm ourselves (since we most often focus on that and not the other)
  • Calming effect
    • Irritation ceases because of the switching of focus from what we like to what the other person likes
  • Parenting
    • With kids, you cannot do your work while they are around you otherwise you will not be able to multitask effectively and get very frustrated.  By asking the question you are putting the whole emphasis on them and be fully involved making it more fun for both you and your child
  • Relationships
    • All the things You don’t like about another person will dissipate because it is not about you but rather them.  You will start to appreciate their uniqueness 
    • You will achieve much greater physical and emotional intimacy
  • Career
    • Satisfaction from doing something that helps another (no matter what career) will make you a better employee
  • Law of Attraction
    • One of the main blocks from attracting is selfish focus.  If your focus is on helping others you are able to attract much quicker since it serves many not just you.


In truth there are so many ways that your life can be improved by just reminding yourself of that question periodically.  Thus my suggestion would be anytime you find yourself irritated, frustrated, not loved, etc. just ask, “How may I serve you? and see what happens.


  • I could have used this article Saturday. I came home from a day of sailing and was tired. My 5 year old grandson kept saying “play with me Grandfather”. I did for about ten minutes then I was done. I should have gotten out of me and into him. I will next time!

    Thanks Allen!

    February 23, 2014 at 12:42 pm
    • Thank Tony for your comment! I find myself in the same stop frequently with my 4 and 9 year olds. Asking this question allows me to re-focus and get out of my work mode. Another thing I do quite frequently is remind myself to look at the situation from their perspective. I am their father, what would I want from my dad as a child and do I really care or even understand what my dad does or how tired he maybe? That also allows me to snap out of it. Hard for adults but well-worth the effort.

      February 23, 2014 at 12:52 pm

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